The quest for possibly attainable happiness

Home.

2011-02-16T02:00:00.000+08:00

If there's one thing I know, one immovable fact that I base my world on...

It is that I know where I belong.

Slightly out of tune

2010-09-23T21:40:00.001+08:00

Love is like a never ending melody,
Poets have compared it to a symphony,
A symphony conducted by the lighting of the moon,
But our song of love is slightly out of tune . . . .

Once your kisses raised me to a fever pitch,
Now the orchestration doesn’t seem so rich,
Seems to me you’ve changed the tune we used to sing,
Like the bossa nova love should swing . . . .

We used to harmonize two souls in perfect time,
Now the song is different and the words don’t even rhyme,
‘Cause you forgot the melody our hearts would always croon,
What good’s a heart that’s slightly out of tune?

Tune your heart with mine the way it used to be,
Join with me in harmony and sing a song of love,
We’re bound to get in tune again before too long,
There’ll be no Desafinado when your heart belongs to me completely
Then you won’t be slightly out of tune, you’ll sing along with me!

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Call Me

2010-07-18T22:36:00.001+08:00

Flirting with the truth
Reading feelings between lines
My heart yearns deeply

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Summer Rain

2010-06-25T08:49:00.001+08:00

Rain falls in glass sheets
Pounding waves march forwards and
Journey is on air

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On the art of relaxation

2010-02-03T19:29:00.001+08:00

I was heading about my way at Dhoby Gaut MRT, walking back from Peace Centre, pondering whether to take the bus from here or to pop by Orchard to look for shoes, when I realized that there was a pretty peaceful area just above the MRT station. It's a long straigt pathway between Park Mall and Plaza Singapura, and it's... Unsingaporean.

Why do I say so? The moment I walked through this area, my mind was carried a year back to Edinburgh. I recalled the shining white tiled floor just above Waverly Station, where the tourist info booth is. I'd stopped there on more than one occasion, sometimes waiting for others, sometimes looking for info, sometimes just appreciating the view of the Old Town. Very surreal. It's not quite as picturesque in SG, but the essence of a green spot in the middle of the city is.

Singapore has a lot of green, but not many integrated gardens. Why don't we have one that's right in the middle of everything?

I miss lying around in the grass watching clouds go by. This spot brings me back to simpler times.

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Dollhouse

2009-12-29T17:52:00.001+08:00

I love sci-fi / philosophy crossovers. Perhaps that's why Dollhouse appeals to me. It's one of those shows that at first appears to be some hot chick exploitation show ( but seriously, Eliza Dushku?) but under the hot girl action, serious issues of personality and being comes into play.

When it all boils down, who are we? Man is more than the sum of his parts, people say. The theme of identity is widespread throughout this series.

A quick synopsis : in the near future, man has learnt to (forcibly) seperate the mind and the body of a person, enabling a person to be stored remotely as an "imprint", and the body to be used as a "doll", albeit in a blank and simple (vegetative) state, a condition known as "tabula rasa", Latin for blank slate. Apt, as these few who undergo this treatment can now be "imprinted" with designer programming, and are rented as high class... Tools. Tools for those with the wealth or power to afford them.

And so, in a clean way that Plato and Descartes can only dream about, the mind and the body are seperated. However, what is it that defines the individual?

We see the characters approach this in multiple ways. Through each way we see a differet perspective on the issue.

We have the agent who is looking for a girl associated with the dollhouse, and identifies her by her appearance. Echo (Eliza Dushku) obviously doesn't agree. She had been imprinted with the imprint of another, so she doesn't believe a word of what the agent says. To the extent that even if she was tortured, she would deny any knowledge, for in her experience, there is no other reality!

We have the son who recognizes his mother, even after she was imprinted onto Echo's body. (She was attending her own funeral, long story.) Is the individual identified by it's behaviour and habits? That's easily disproven. Habits can be learnt and behaviour conditioned. The son could as easily be taken in by a well trained trickster.

Of course, there are those who argue that it is our unique memory and experiences that create an individual. But doesn't the shows premise immediately contradict that? The dollhouse designs dolls with unique skills and habits that are derived from imprints of other peoples' imprints. Using a mix and match approach, each doll could be part Mary, part Jane, part Helen. But which part is uniquely her?

By extension, all of us are mix and match mélanges of each others' personality. How do we know our shared memories are true? By implanting false memories, are we rebuilding ourselves from a far deeper level?

Which part of me says I'm me?

Now, one interesting development pops in, where the dolls evolve and experience some form of self awareness. They remember bits and pieces of their past, and better yet! They remember parts of everyone else they've been! Akin to the bleeding effect in Assassins Creed, they take on the skills and memories of their multiple personalities.

So now, the question is: Is Caroline, who Echo once was, still Caroline now, with fragments of memories of multiple imprints on her?

Debate on that if you will.

Next question: Are you the same you you were yesterday?

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One more for the road

2009-12-07T22:08:00.001+08:00

Well, so anyway, over the weekend I bought yet another guitar. I know, I've only got one pair of hands, why do I need another guitar? I guess it's my secret obsession. It's been a hobby I've been keeping for a while, and the longer I keep it, the more it matures like a good red wine, my understanding and appreciation of it going deeper. I listen to the same songs, and I derive deeper and deeper understanding and satisfaction from them. I get the thrill when I start to be able to play licks I could never have even begun to imagine to play years ago. I listen and I understand the subtle interplays of tone and volume. And most of all I grow as a musician (albeit a weak one).

In a way, I'd always been obsessed with music. I guess it kind of shows when the last 15-20 passwords i've had were all songnames or lyrics. Don't try to guess, I've probably forgotten more songs than most people actually know.

My brother told me about a friend he was talking to at a party the other day. She told him that she always remembers exactly what she's eating at the most significant times of her life. For me it's music. I remember the times of my life by the music I've been listening to. My secondary school life passed by with pop in sec 1 and 2, punk rock in sec 3, and ska punk in sec 4. JC swivelled by with more punk and leanings into old school rock, detouring into Sinatra towards the tail end. Army life was all that jazz for me, with Lady Ella stepping into my ears. I still recall Sinatra's "Love's been good to me" playing in my mind on those lonely days on the shore of Sungei Batu Apoi. Army was also my transition into retro pop, exemplified by the hedonism of mambo. Good times. University brought more depth with further forays into old school rock, and a new insight into metal. I spent life in Edinburgh listening to straight up rock and roll, and 90s rock. And now, I've been infected with the blues. It's been a good run. The blues are so gonna stick with me a while. I might just be able to play some of them blues, pop by and ask me to try.

Come on, I dare you. ;)

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Scare Tactics?

2009-10-21T21:46:00.001+08:00

Personally, I don't quite see what the fuss is about regarding the new HPB anti-smoking ads.

Apparently they're using images of what happened to young women after long periods of smoking, eg yellow teeth, bad skin etc.

Some have lambasted it as a form of scare tactics, which representatives from HPB vehemently deny.

I think to myself, bemusedly, why bother to deny it?there's a reason why scare tactics are so common. They work! It's not as if there isn't any hard truth behind it. I'd like to think of it as aggressive education. I'd never really been partial to smokers, and seeing young women smoking have always set me on edge. (most of you should know what I'm talking about).

So kudos to HPB. Strike where it hurts.

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600km in 2 days

2009-10-20T07:43:00.001+08:00

After an embarassing fiasco with my dad, I eventually had to sell my tickets to the Mr Big concert to a friend of a friend. Thank god there was an available buyer, and I didn't incur too much of a loss. It didn't help that a certain xialan Jah went to catch them in Bangkok for half the price I paid, and was taunting me with vivid descriptions of the performance. Aaargh they played smoke on the water! But anyway I digress.

So on Friday night, after 3 liters of beer made their way in (and out of) my mouth, I somehow managed to make my way home to crawl into bed with a massive death wish, only to wake up at 4 with an even larger hangover. I haven't felt this bad since I kicked that cuts little puppy. Well, I didn't really kick a cute puppy, but that's how bad I felt. It didn't help that I had to pack a suit and stuff for 2 days worth of weddings in one and a half hours, and somehow manage to get myself washed up in the process. Miraculously I managed to get the deed done, even stealing some time to lie groaning on my bed, between trips to the toilet clearing the stomach reflux, remnants of last nights excesses. By the time Jimmy pulled up, the only reminder I had of my massive binge was a splitting headache and the stale taste of bile behind my teeth. I felt like an involuntary bulimic.

I guess after 7 years of drinking, I finally figured out how to deal with the post-partum puking: starve it. I don't think anything went into my stomach until late in the afternoon. On the bright side, nothing came out either! Besides some ghost retching, the ride up was relatively uneventful. Maybe it was because I was in no position to say or do anything besides moan and whimper. But again I digress.

We arrived at KL, or rather, near KL. Apparently we were to be housed at Sunway Lagoon, which was a queer coincidence for it came across one of my conversations I had at work the week before. I didn't expect to be seeing that place again so soon, considering that the last time I was there was probably more than ten years ago. I could hardly recognize the place! It looked so completely different. We dropped by the bridal salon before we checked in, to dress up the car. something simple, but hardy. After all, it had to survive a 300km drive down the next day. I met the bride, for the second time in my life. She looked normal then. That would change soon.

So after checking in, I went with Jimmy to wander around the attached shopping centre, which was massive, with a skating rink right in the middle of one of the foyers. Now why don't we ever so something like that? It was rather popular, with skaters of all ages and skill. I barely managed to finish a mac meal ( that's how bad I felt) before crawling back to the room to pass out for the rest of the day. Now I haven't stayed in a hotel in a while and I might be biased. But this felt like heaven. If ever any of you really feel tired, book a hotel room, and just spend the entire day sleeping in it. Guaranteed to make you feel better.

That night was the first wedding dinner, and the brides family was out in full force. They practically took up the entire restaurant, rambling on boisterously. Dinner was great, I haven't had a traditional 7 course dinner in a while. I'm not sure about the number of courses, but still it was good. The entrance of the newly wedded couple was astounding. I swear I had never seen either of them look so good before in my life. The rest of the night went on like a standard Chinese wedding dinner. The cake cutting, the champagne popping, the interlocked armed champagne drinking, the toast, the tabled toasts... Which usually results in a very drunk looking groom, and Zongxun was no exception. But it's all in good fun. The dinner was peppered with bouts of karaoke, and to my surprise, I actually knew most of the songs they were singing! Normally it's nothing special for me to recognize songs, but this time they were all Chinese. Gives me some motivation to learn some Chinese ballads though. We eventually got back to the hotel at 11, just to knock out again in preparation for the next day.

So the next morning, we got up at 6, because the overly anxious groom wanted to get us ready early. Considering we were expected at the brides house at 9, and it was 20 minutes away, I would think that his jitters were getting a little too much control over him. So we had breakfast, at the hotel buffet. Again, I haven't had a hotel buffet in ages, and it tasted completely awesome. The only reason I didn't make a pig of myself was because I didn't want to burst out of my suit. Wait, did I mention my suit? Apparently, when Zongxun asked me to be the best man, he wasn't kidding. What else could I do? SUIT UP!

So we left for the brides house, the groom and his small entourage of 6. We got there in 3 cars, horning and yelling and generally making a royal nuisance of ourselves. When we got there I was shocked. The bride was rolling about 97655738 deep in homies. I might be exagerrating, but I swear there were at least 40 people waiting for us in the house.

Upon seeing us outside, the bridesmaids weren't going to let us in without a fight. Their terms? Either we play a game with them, or fork out 9999 bucks. I'm fairly sure we could afford the latter, but it's so much more fun to do the former. The first challenge? A song from the groom professing love for the bride. And this crappy groom couldn't remember lyrics for nuts, so that's where I came in. After a couple of verses of "Words", they were satisfied, if not swooning. Next up, the groom had to identify the lipstick mark of his bride amongst a myriad of smooches. If he got it wrong, one of his entourage would have to add his own mark (with lipstick generously supplied by the bridesmaids) to another sheet. And he had to get it wrong 3 times, dooming his brother, Jimmy and myself to don lipstick. The third challenges was to survive 4 tastes, sweet, sour, bitter and spicy. Hold on, I just realized it shouldn't be spicy, but rather salty. But we got spicy anyway. Concentrated sugar solution, fresh lemon juice, bittergourd juice, and wasabe hidden in rice cakes. I almost didn't make it past the wasabe... But I did. After that the girls relented and let us in. As we approached the brides room, we were stopped at the door, a final challenge. Zongxun had to read aloud and sign a finely worded contract, professing his eternal love and devotion to his new wife. And not just in english, but in Cantonese too! Hilarious. After he signed it,( with a pen, though I maintain they should have made him sign it in blood) they let him in. The bride was radiant, they looked so happy together. After sharing a kiss, they went down to offer tea to their elders. Now, that took a while. I realized why the bride had so many people at her place, her family was huge. The two of them spent almost half an hour offering tea to what seemed like an endless chain of uncles and aunties, of course after their parents.

What followed next was probably one of the most bizarre things I have ever witnessed. We all got into the cars, and as a procession drove down to JB. That's a 300km drive from the brides home to the grooms home. Now, that's definitely a long way to go to steal a bride. We even stopped halfway at one of the rest stops, as per normal for any long trip. I did feel a little odd stopping there in a suit though.

We eventually got down, did a far shorter tea session with the grooms side, then proceeded for a second wedding dinner. Talk about excess, I think I had way too much to eat. But all for a good cause I guess.

So i kind of missed Mr Big, but I guess I couldn't have missed this without a clear conscience. Well, more weddings to come.

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At your fingertips

2009-10-15T18:09:00.001+08:00

I have been touched by the mobile revolution.

I wonder how had I lived without an iPhone before. This sense of power from having the world at your fingertips, this complete sense of instant connection and ability... Aaah this is good stuff. There is no longer such a thing as downtime. Any moment, you are enabled, you are empowered. I read the news on the train in the morning, I'm blogging on the train on the way back in the evening. I no longer need to check my mails the moment I get back, I can get them on my phone!

If I need directions? Google maps at a touch. Food reviews? Also at a touch. Feel like checking something online? Again, at a touch. This is no simple tool, it's a lifestyle revolution. Bloody amazing.

My only gripe so far is the dismal battery life, it probably would last a day at my kind of usage, although I'm too paranoid to let my battery level drop below 30%. Which leads to me carrying the charger about almost everywhere. But it's not an issue, it's just a frigging USB cable! (and a really slim and sexy plug head. Talk about small form factor.)

The apps are amazing, now all I need is some real good guitar based apps... If I could bother to pay for it. :p

Now, more time for Lucille, Rosie and Betty. I'm done with this and I'm not even home yet! :)

Musings on a wednesday morning

2009-10-14T07:17:00.001+08:00

Driving across the city centre on the way to work, I was struck by how majestic it looked. I hadn't had much opportunity to ooh and aah at the Singapore skyline before, but it's a wonderful view, especially at 6am in the morning. The half lit towers, showing signs of life in the wee hours. Tourists and business visitors from halfway around the world struggling to adapt to the time zone, evidenced by the amber night lights glaring through the silky curtains. Eruptions of steel and concrete along the bayline, proud erect monuments to future achievements, standing haughty, cranes held high in the air, looking down on the traffic passing by.

This is what progress should look like.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone (and how in the world did I live without one before?)

I learned how to carry on.

2009-10-05T21:24:00.002+08:00

D'abord, j'ai eu peur,
Et puis je me suis habituée
Comment pourrais-je vivre encore sans toi à mes cotés ?
Depuis j'ai passé tant de nuits à me dire que t'avais tort à t'en vouloir
Et puis je me suis habituée
Et tu reviens, si sûr de toi
Avec ce regard qui se teint et des mots stupides et tristes
J'aurais dû changer la serrure ou juste reprendre la clé
Si j'avais pu imaginer que tu reviendrais me troubler
sors de ma vie
ne reviens plus
Car désormais tu le sais tu n'est plus le bienvenu
J'ai trop pleuré j'ai envie de vivre aujourd'hui de t'oublier
Et tant que je serai aimée
je survivrai
je survivrai
J'ai tellement sur terre de choses à faire que je préfère te dire
N'essaie pas de m'attendrir
Non n'essaie pas de revenir
je survivrai
je survivrai
Sans toi
Et ne cherche pas à tout prix à te justifier
Ni à recoller les morceaux, tu n'y arriverais pas
Je me suis souvent sentie seule et je suis une autre déjà
J'ai bien changé tu ne me reconnaîtrais pas
je ne suis plus comme autrefois
Je ne suis plus la fille autant amoureuse de toi
Tu crois sans doute qu'un seul soupir suffit pour que tu me reprenne
Mais je garde mon amour aujourd'hui pour celui qui m'aime
Sors de ma vie
ne reviens plus
Car désormais tu le sais tu n'est plus le bienvenu
J'ai trop pleuré j'ai envie de rire aujourd'hui de t'oublier
Et tant que je serai aimée
je survivrai
je survivrai
J'ai tellement sur terre de choses à faire que je préfère te dire
N'essaie pas de m'attendrir
Non n'essaie pas de revenir
je survivrai
I will survive
sors de ma vie
ne reviens plus
Car désormais tu le sais tu n'est plus le bienvenu
J'ai trop pleuré j'ai envie de rire aujourd'hui
de t'oublier
Et tant que je serai aimée
je survivrai
Sans toi

Sunday bloody sundays.

2009-10-04T21:54:00.002+08:00

Well I woke up Sunday morning,
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes,
And found my cleanest dirty shirt.
An' I shaved my face and combed my hair,
An' stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.

I'd smoked my brain the night before,
On cigarettes and songs I'd been pickin'.
But I lit my first and watched a small kid,
Cussin' at a can that he was kicking.
Then I crossed the empty street,
'n caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken.
And it took me back to somethin',
That I'd lost somehow, somewhere along the way.

On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
Makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothin' short of dyin',
Half as lonesome as the sound,
On the sleepin' city sidewalks:
Sunday mornin' comin' down.

In the park I saw a daddy,
With a laughin' little girl who he was swingin'.
And I stopped beside a Sunday school,
And listened to the song they were singin'.
Then I headed back for home,
And somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'.
And it echoed through the canyons,
Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday.

On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
Makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothin' short of dyin',
Half as lonesome as the sound,
On the sleepin' city sidewalks:
Sunday mornin' comin' down.

Insomnia. (Redux)

2009-09-30T01:21:00.003+08:00

I wax lyrical the moment I can't get enough sleep. I guess it's the only time I find to unburden my thoughts, when the day is done and the night is silent around me, settling in a comfortable blanket of solitude.

I ran my IPPT earlier today, surprisingly coming in with a better than expected result. Perhaps the work of some higher being, but I'd like to think I worked my ass off for it. There we go, no more RT... for now.

Recently i've ran into a close encounter with some existential angst, following the departure of a few wonderful Honky friends whom I had met in Edinburgh. Their coming heralded a new age of fun and laughter, joy and friendship. And a side of me that I hadn't seen for almost 2 months. I didn't do that much. Just played myself as a good host and brought them around to my favourite places, ate my favourite foods, talked as much (or as little) as I knew about Singapore's history.

But I don't know why. I have never felt this carefree and footloose for a long long time. It's almost as if since I touched down in my homeland, the weight and cares of my life has resettled around me like a leaden cloak, dragging my shoulders down, keeping my head firmly set on putting one foot in front of another in unerring rhythm.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I like the people, I enjoy the job. But something is missing. I'm not sure if it's the people I had with me on exchange that triggered this metamorphosis of boring serious Luke into fun and playful Luke (yes, even I can tell when I'm boring), or it's the situation of where I'm working.

I liked it when I was more fun. I thought I was more interesting then.

It might just be some inner mindgame... Or is it just that different people bring out different things in me?

Peaches.

2009-09-07T23:36:00.000+08:00

I was teaching one of my tuition kids something, when her mom came out and passed me a peach. She had a habit of feeding me while I was there, a fringe benefit of the job. (Besides the job satisfaction of teaching, that is.)

It was a massive peach. Round, reddish, redolent in its ruby splendour. Freckled with little yellow spots, like dimples in its blushing cheeks. It's perfume was enticing, smelling sweetly reminiscent of apples, yet uniquely ravishing in its character. Lacking the tart sharp sweetness of simple sugars, the fragrance exumed a refined quality of sophisticated delight.

I held the magnificent peach up to my nose, letting its subtle flavour waft into my mind. It was intoxicating.

My tuition kid was laughing at me. She had been doing her work for the last 5-10 minutes, all the while looking bemusedly at me sniffing the peach as if it was an olfactory gold mine. She had finished hers already. She asked me, "Why haven't you eaten it yet?"

Ah, but how could I tell her? The smell of the peach was a heaven unto its own. The vivacity of that strong scent brought it into a life of it's own, enthralling the senses, lulling one to imagine the peach as larger than life, full of flavour and sweetness. However, the perfection of the peach lay only in it's scent, for it is the scent of the peach that calls the fruit-lover, the taste of the unknown. What if I eat the peach, and find it less than fulfilling? Should I have been content in just smelling it all the while?

Before this degenerates into a needless philosophical discourse, to cut the story short, I ate the peach. As expected, it did not live up to my expectations.

But whose fault is it that it didn't? Was the fault mine, that I had expected too much from a simple fruit, and had built up my expectations too high? Or was it the fault of the peach, with it's alluring fragrance, tricking the fruit-lover into thinking that the peach was tastier than it looks?

Taking nature's view of it, it is an elegant solution to the problem of attraction. The peach simply had to attract fruit-lovers to it, for in the process of being eaten, it would be transported to new pastures to grow and reproduce. It is not necessary for the fruit to be sweet and tasty, for the attractive smell alone had achieved its goals.

But of course, if you ask any layman, he would find that the fault is in the fruit-lover, who loves fruits but does not understand them. Hence each time he tastes the fruit of his labour (heh heh) he is disappointed.

In my mind, the fruit-lover has to be an eternal optimist. Each time he sees a fantastic fruit, he has to try it, to find out if the fruit tastes as good as it looks. And even if it doesn't? Well, there's always different kinds of fruits, and new ones all the time.

But someday, when he knows the peach a little better, he might come back, drown in it's intoxicating spell for a moment, and take a bite.

I wonder how that will taste.

As the years go passing by.

2009-08-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

Another year passes. And I look back and wonder. There's been a few mistakes, but good times were had. Recovery, moving on, learning from past mistakes. (Although with certain objections - It seems I don't learn sometimes.) Importantly though, life moves on, a little older, a little wiser. Hearken the wonderful words of Led Zeppelin:

In the days of my youth
I was told what it was to be a man,
Now Ive reached the age
Ive tried to do all those things the best I can.
No matter how I try,
I find my way to do the same old jam.

*good times, bad times,
You know I had my share;
When my woman left home
With a brown eyed man,
Well, I still dont seem to care.

Sixteen: I fell in love
With a girl as sweet as could be,
Only took a couple of days
Till she was rid of me.
She swore that she would be all mine
And love me till the end,
When I whispered in her ear
I lost another friend.

Voice of a hard-boiled angel.

2009-08-15T18:58:00.000+08:00

Amazingly soulful. Why do they always die so young?

Visions of loveliness.

2009-08-12T21:15:00.000+08:00

Whatever the hell happened to blogger man. Something's screwy with the interface. No matter. Life moves on.

I recently managed to get my luggage from Edinburgh back (yes, it left a month before I did, returned a month after. Do the math.) A little treasure trove of trinkets and things fell right out, along with assorted memories of SEP life.

Life was good then. It was simple. Why isn't it so anymore? So strange. It's as if we carry our complications with us, and it hangs in the air. Returning to Singapore refreshed, I get bogged down by the little details of life. Or perhaps the air in my homeland begs me to reflect, and think too much.

I was pleased to find that my posters had all arrived more or less intact. I just hung up my favourite star of the silver screen, she's sitting on my wall looking at me with a pensive smile.

http://blog.pricegrabber.com/chicshopper/files/2007/11/audrey-hepburn-poster-c11738523.jpg

There's another vision of loveliness that runs through my head every night, but that might just have to wait.

I've been infected with the blues. And it's good, a fantastic way to relax. Just kicking in a backing track and wandering up and down pentatonics for a few minutes is strangely therapeutic. Even better, it doesn't sound too bad either. Maybe i'll write a couple of songs, it's a form of self-therapy. Gets the insides out, if you know what i mean. Got to get out of the key of A though.

Work is fantastic. I love it. I'm sincerely hoping I get a change to get back in after I graduate, so i'm gonna work my arse off if I have to. It helps to have motivation everyday though. :)

The falling leaves.

2009-07-26T06:31:00.000+08:00

I sent my brother off to the airport earlier, after a large, meaty bbq the night before. It's not difficult to resettle back into the rhythm of the Singapore life, when it just seems as if new tasks and events just loom over each horizon. The pace of life really does display a marked difference.

As I was turning into YCK, something caught my eye. The rain trees had shed some of their leaves, which were gently falling with the wind. As the cars drove by, the little currents toss and turn them, jarring their inevitable descent towards the ground, swirling up cones and sheets of brown fleckles.

For some reason, it brings to mind the blossoming of the sakura trees in Japan. I've never seen one personally, but if I were to imagine it, this would be what I see in the mind's eye. Something poetic about the way it just tumbles about, tossed by the winds of fate.

A dearth of freedom in the air.

2009-07-05T08:47:00.002+08:00

As far as I can make it, the supposition of a free wireless at many places of transit seems to be a blatant lie. It seems as if every possible service provider is falling over themselves to provide a way to siphon more money from the undiscerning public.

Of which I am unashamedly one. From personal observation (and the critical comments of others, I must add) I realise that I have two weaknesses on the move - A severe coke addiction and a craving for the surrounding banality of the internet.

The first is a simple physical need - As I have explained to many, coke is the ultimate travelling tool. It's sugar, caffeine, and water all rolled into one package. Staves off hunger, depression, thirst, and it doesn't taste half bad, even when warm. It's hell for your teeth, but on the road, some things have to go. (Apologies to Ed, you will have a bitch of a time with my teeth.)

The second stems from the inherent call of the world - the need for information saturation, and the craving for the ease of having the knowledge of the planet at your beck and call, to answer to your every whim. Feel like checking out whats up with Michael Jackson's estate? Wondering about the new H1N1 count in Singapore? Have a sudden urge to watch Ozzy Osbourne's Crazy Train? The internet is the perfect complement to the ADD-led minds of today's generation. I've recently re-discovered the power of youtube - It's a visual google. There are a hundred and one explanations on how things are done, in thousands of messageboards and websites on the net. But as with many other things, some people learn better visually, and who better to teach than the hundreds of attention seeking demonstrators on youtube? I've found everything from how to change a floyd rose tremolo system, to dancing basic tango, to learning how to drop kick like William Shatner. Well, effectiveness could be debated. But it is entertaining, and some of the demonstrators are rather amusing.

Debating the extent of my addiction is difficult. I think i've paid a total of abt 50 sgd for 24 hours of internet access over 2 different airports in less than 12 hours. I know, i'm terrible. But as of now, I've got 7 hours more of dead time waiting to check in for my final flight out of London to Singapore, and I'm rather determined to keep my mind active and my wits about, all for the better to crash on the plane on the way back. It's 3am here, but about 9am in SG. All the better to shock my body clock back into sync with local time. As most of you know, I'm hitting the ground running, not much time to spare. Even the quarantine for those coming back from H1N1 countries was lifted, so there goes my 7 days of relaxation.

Well, the end of my exchange stint is rapidly approaching. I know I've been lacking in updates for the blog, but I'd developed a writing system over my exchange months. I've actually filled a small notebook cover to cover (single sided), and am currently happily writing on the back of the other side. It's actually quite rewarding to see it fill up with random observations, recording of travelling sights and events. I'll probably flesh it out with photos and some post-travelling comments when I get back (and if I have enough time.) Would I bother mass-producing it to give/sell to others? I don't know. I'll see how it goes.

Wherever you're going, i'm going your way.

2009-06-21T03:16:00.002+08:00

One example why life is unfair - A voice that enchanting belongs to a face just as beautiful.

The hardest words are the seven letter ones.

2009-05-26T04:59:00.005+08:00

It felt different, this time I stepped out of my room. Looking back, it was bare, stripped of its essence. The remnants of my past life these 5 months lay about in dribs and drabs, trailing a path of frantic packing over a night of musicals, whiskey and conversations.

I was leaving a hall, but yet it was different. In NUS (I'm not ashamed to say it) I was happy to leave. While I was rather active in hall, the activities were forced, and the people there I didn't quite clique with. Nevertheless, I made a few friends in my stay, although much more acquaintance. And besides, visiting Temasek was always a stone's throw away. Maybe that's why I never really went back?

I was leaving my room for a trip, but yet it was different. I stepped out of that little room in Pollock many times over the last few months, letting a few day's worth of dust settle before returning to its musty, homely splendour. It became so easy, I would barely start packing until hours before I was scheduled to leave. But each time I left, I knew it was only temporarily. A temporal distortion, taking me away for the moment, but only to return.

I was leaving my life in Edinburgh behind. A short life, but a very eventful one. In the last 5 months, I have made friends that I know I may not see again for the rest of my life. And that really sucks. When you're out there half a world away (or even 2 nations away) from home, every human contact and friendship counts. And you hold on a lot harder to people than you normally do. That's just the way of things.

And in this short life, I was reborn. I left the cares of a "second-lower-striving-for-second-upper" behind, left my eternal worries about studying, my grades, my projects... It was a good feeling. A feeling of release, of ease, of relaxedness. Life became meaningful in the passing of a breeze. The feel of the wind against your cheek. The softness of the grass you lie on to enjoy the sun. The ephemeral taste of a Guinness as it slides down the throat. The sudden ringing of the phone when a friend calls to ask what you're doing. Suddenly there was more meaning in life, and more life in meaning for me.

But all good things come to an end, and it was time to part. I will always feel that my departure from Edinburgh was a rushed affair, a ceasarian rip that tore me from the womb that nurtured me the last 5 months.

Barely 24 hours after my last paper, I left the city.

Knowing that the next time I come back, I won't call this home.

Knowing that the next time I come back, my friends will all haved moved on and gone.

Goodbye Edinburgh. Goodbye.

I've got my pride and i know how to hide all my sorrow and pain.

2009-05-20T21:46:00.001+08:00

And too soon shall we all part.

aware?

2009-05-02T21:32:00.003+08:00

I'm rather suprised at the effectiveness of Twitter as a social broadcasting tool. I'd been following the AWARE EGM at Suntec via Twitter for the last 3 hours, and it is a really gripping saga. Feels like some drama serial on TV.

The concept of distributed reporting seems seems to be a winner to me. What will come next? Sports twittering? I can imagine 100 people at a soccer match twittering every move, to the delight of fans all over. This is the new face of citizen journalism - Who needs skill? Just a short sentence (which sometimes barely makes sense), but with a couple hundred other people doing so as well, it all comes together.

Cheers to the new AWARE exco. Keep the fundamentalists out.

Let The Right One In.

2009-04-29T05:10:00.002+08:00

This film is startlingly gripping. And definitely a new take on a genre spoiled by the Twilight series. Shot in Sweden, the atmosphere is dark, gloomy, and I swear i feel the chill even in my warm room here. The actors, despite being children, deliver a strong depth in their performance. Dark, moody, poignant, I would watch this again just to share with my friends what interesting things you can find when you actually bother to look at the advertisements on the London Underground. Do watch it if you can, before the Americans get to it and spoil it for the rest.

Best. Eponine. Ever.

2009-04-20T07:23:00.002+08:00

I always liked Les Miserables. So when I got the chance to see it again in London, I jumped at it. Didn't matter that I had to drag two other friends to come and see, it was so worth it. Even if I had to pay for the other two (which I didn't.)

Completely blew me away. Nostalgic yet new at the same time, with the songs taking on much more meaning and undertones. It is believable that these people have done the show year after year, it was splendid.

I always found Eponine much more outstanding than Cosette, for some reason. The London cast only reinforced that opinion for me. Nancy Sullivan is a fantastic Eponine. Doesn't help that she's a flaxen-haired beauty with the voice of an angel. Sigh. Could a couple more girls like that fall out of trees please?

This is one of my favourite songs from the musical. She's singing about unrequited love. Hopelessly romantic, but it's a thing I do, I guess.

The Horror.

2009-04-05T05:57:00.002+08:00

It's amazing what you bump into on random bookshelves in youth hostels. An enterprising bugger actually left a copy of Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness and other stories" on the shelves. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, i promptly stole it (well, borrowed) for the duration of my stay.

It took 2-3 nights of nearly falling asleep to make it through the text, but once i was done i couldn't help but go through it again. It's one of those things that you would want to read over and over, poring through the details of the meanings, the depth of the intepretation. On the surface it is a simple tale of restoration, to bring back someone lost in the jungle. Below, the currents draw deep.

What is the heart of darkness that Kurtz and Marlow speak of? Not merely the depth of primeval jungle that Kurtz has imprisoned himself in. Perhaps it is the greed of the merchant trader, willing to do all to take the ivory from the shores of Africa. The will to ignore what happens to others, to forsake the humanity due to the natives, to bind them to his will, and to pillage and plunder wantonly.

Or perhaps it is the darkness of the spirit, that infects those far from civilisation - the darkness drawn not from the exterior surroundings, but rather from a lack of internal nourishment. The lack of companionship, the lack of order, the lack of civility. The complete and utter failure of society to prepare the orderly minds of the educated to face the rawness of the jungle. In that way, the "Heart of Darkness" draws a parallel to "The Lord Of the Flies", but instead of seeing the gradual disappearance of society, we see the effects of a society gone to ground - where supplies sent are squandered, where rule of law exists by whips and guns, where the slaves are slaves due to a meaningless charter, where all that exists is a greed to take and take, without consideration or care.

I like the book. Intend to get it back in Singapore. I think the other two stories are worth reading, if only to place "Heart of Darkness" within context.

Teh Shit.

2009-03-24T04:59:00.000+08:00

Writing...

2009-03-23T08:14:00.002+08:00

There's a certain satisfaction in writing long emails and blogs. For me its been more of the former than the latter since I arrived in the fair city of Edinburgh. I think its a lost art. The ability to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and to write sincerely, from the heart, and to let others know about how you're doing.

I think I'm one of those who derive great pleasure from writing. It used to be fiction - I remember loving the freeform composition writing I did in secondary school. Now apparently I get a kick out of talking about my travel experience, writing in a somewhat off-putting mildly disjointed way - But i guess that's the way I'm thinking at the moment. Free-Association mental workings.

I think, well, I'm quite sure I will write a book on my travel experiences. Probably a photo-book kind of thing, with my notes supplementing my favourite photos from my 6 months here. So I have a one man market, but are there any more out there who would buy it?

Gambling.

2009-03-13T08:13:00.002+08:00

I had never been a gambling man.

Well, I claim to scoff at those who make their fortune from the bad plays of others, and disdain the casual wagered games of chance (or skill). Perhaps I just can't play it well? I hope my dislike for the bet goes deeper than that.

I'm straight and narrow. Always on the straight and narrow. A failing perhaps - To always want to know exactly where things are heading, to want to know as much as I can about the future, to find the path laid before me unfurl exactly as planned. Boring? Methodical? You decide. I like seeing my plans put into action. I like knowing what I want to do tomorrow, the day after, the week after, the year after. Well, not exactly in three-dimensional computer simulation kind of detail, but a rough idea would be good.

I was never one to live life on a day to day basis. Even now, on a honeymoon semester in Edinburgh, it shows. My Rainlender is packed - Not with school stuff, but with the things I want to do OUT of school. Carpe Diem, they say. I say Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctis, Carpe Vita.

And that's just me. I like me this way.

Osmonds!

2009-03-04T05:02:00.001+08:00

Fantasies

2009-02-27T23:42:00.002+08:00

Right now I'm thinking...

Get one of my friends to find a bloody pigs head.

Bring it to the Chem Engin Office in NUS.

Leave it on a certain someone's table.

Tattoo across the head in fluorescent marker (or better yet write it in blood on the wall)

"READ AND REPLY YOUR EMAIL"

People are the same everywhere.

2009-02-20T21:20:00.002+08:00

It was hilarious.

I was just in one of my chemical engineering classes (polymer science and engineering, to be exact.) The lecturer was saying that for this module, it will be a self-study guided lecture style, so he expects us to go and read up on the subject matter ourselves, and gather back the week after to discuss the answers to some preset questions he had for us. So he gave us the list of books that we were likely to use, and the call numbers in the library, and ended the lecture early.

And JUST LIKE WHAT I WOULD EXPECT IN SINGAPORE, every single scheming struggling chemical engineer in the bunch made a beeline STRAIGHT to the library, barely after he finished his last sentence. I was lucky to be ahead of the pack, and secured myself a copy of one of the books. Some others weren't as lucky. I think the librarian was shocked at the sudden impulse input of chemical engineers popping in.

Score one for kiasu-ism! When it comes to being kiasu, SINGAPOREANS ROCK.

SNOWFIGHT

2009-02-09T07:55:00.003+08:00

I know its another entry about snow, but i can't help it. :)

I received a call from Kit, my HKU friend, telling me everyone's having a huge snowfight at the other end of Pollock Halls. So I gave the 2 girls a quick call, and quickly ran out. Keyword being quick, as it turns out i was desperate for some snowy fun.

Having being cloistered in my room the past 2 hours with the windows drawn, i was pleasantly suprised to see the ground outside coated with a thick (to me. its about 3cm or 4cm) layer of snow. Sensing imminent joy, i quickly ran (as fast as i could on snow, that is) over to Chancellors court. To my suprise, it wasn't just Kit, but the entire group of year 1 Singaporeans and HK people were there!

Heh. I was running like a sissy and screaming like a girl for over an hour. Halfway through I took off my jacket and was throwing snowballs with glee, in my t-shirt and track pants. NO GUTS NO GLORY. I don't think I could feel my fingers after the first 5 minutes, that was lucky. I might have sprained one of them dodging a snowball in bullet-time matrix style motion. As I type now, the feeling is returning to my fingers...... Ouch. really good thing that I couldn't feel my fingers earlier.

Alright, next objective - Cavorting around in the snow in sexy army shorts, and taking pictures to prove my EXTREEEEME nature to the guys. TAKE THAT YOU PUSSIES.

Oh and so sorry I haven't been updating the blog recently. A lot of time goes to updating facebook with my pictures. And blogger is inherently ill equipped to handle mass photo uploading, and facilitating a photostory style layout. Nasty stuff. Will try again when I have more time.

People try to put us d-d-down...

2009-02-05T06:07:00.000+08:00

Isn't it a wonder.

2009-01-19T20:32:00.002+08:00

It's snowing outside.

It's beautiful.

It's magical.

A soft white down, covering the land like a silky negligee, hiding the colours, the sound, the light.

Falling ephemerally, like dust in the wind.

The trees bare their upturned branches, stretching out like hands to receive the bounty of frost.

And all is quiet.

I hope i never lose my sense of wonder.

For if I do, I will never be as awestruck by such simple feats of nature.

Life is beautiful.

Highlights - A week in Edinburgh

2009-01-17T04:47:00.004+08:00

Where do I begin?

Let's start with an amazingly beautiful campus, sprawling over the southern end of the old town, providing education for the masses for the last 200 years.

New friends, new acquaintances, new bonds.

An amazing city with well preserved Georgian architecture. (Pictures is Calton Hill at 6pm in the evening. Walking there tomorrow!)

Beautiful monuments to the figures that have shaped the city's history. (The prickly thing on the right is the Scott Monument, taken against sunset, with the outline of Edinburgh Castle on the bottom left. (Visiting on sunday!)

A night at Bannerman's with some lovely friends.

A historical tour, spanning the odds and ends of Edinburgh's history, and a visit to a very famous dog's gravesite. (For the unintiated, that's Greyfriar's Bobby, the dog that sat at his masters gravestone and wailed until he died.)

A walk up Exorcist stairs... (not the real one, just reminds me of it.)

Which is nicely rewarded by presenting us with the entrance to the castle (Revisiting on sunday!)

Edinburgh is a beautiful city, I cannot stress that enough. The beauty of the place alone was worth all that trouble coming over here.

Classes? What classes? :) Well, class ranges from interesting to boring... but as usual, being engineering, its more of the latter than the former, and being engineering, the girls are..... well, nuff said. Taking Polymer Science and Engineering, Environmental Issues in Chemical Engineering, Nanotechnology, Fouling in Process Industries, and hopefully Human Resource Management. See how it goes. :)

It's a pleasant 25min walk to class everyday. I feel the pain and stiffness in my calves when I reach my destination. At this rate, I might actually be healthy by the time i leave here!

And i found the most value for money thing here... Rittersport Block - 95 pence. TAN DIO. When crap cafe coffee costs 1.10 pounds, and a sandwich at lunch is 3 pounds...... Rittersport for 95 pence? TAN DIO. TAN DIO, TAN DIO, TAN DIO. heh.

Well, that's it for now. Update if and when i have time yeah?

Ridiculous

2009-01-15T19:40:00.003+08:00

I just made a list of all the places i want to visit while i'm here.

If I spent a day in each city, it will take me 2 months to cover everything. (not including travelling)

Time to start prioritizing......

And on the 5th day, God Gave me a Rainbow.

2009-01-12T20:30:00.003+08:00

The biggest, fattest, most well defined rainbow I have ever seen in my life. If there was a Ms Rainbow Universe 2009, this clinches the top prize.

I love studying in a foreign country. If there's one thing I can say now, is that everyday brings a new and unique experience. The morning was dark and gloomy as I made my way down to the King's Buildings, where the science and engineering students work. But as I left my first class of the semester, I was pleasantly suprised to see a shiny day, chasing the clouds away.

Now isn't it a lovely day to be out?

Taking a Backyard Stroll: Arthur's Seat

2009-01-11T01:19:00.004+08:00

Brilliant, I was, to take a nice morning stroll. I headed out this morning while the sky was purple (at about 8am), and went to get me some hearty breakfast. (Enough for 2 people or a cow.)

The sky is beautiful at that time of the day. The purple highlight transforms the most mundane scenes into panoramas of beauty, sweeping across the breaking dawn like a wave of a royal hand.

When the light got brighter, I walked back past Pollock Halls, making my way down to Holyrood Park.

This area has been a park for over 400 years, and is well tended by paid and volunteer woodsmen. I took the long way about, skirting the Salisbury Crags, which gives walkers a beautiful vista of the city falling below it's heights.

Going round the back, I approached the Palace of Holyroodhouse, where people were bustling about getting ready for some mass run in the park. Luckily i went early enough to avoid the crowd.

Cutting across the centre of the park grounds, i made a beeline for the peak of the park, Arthur's Seat. Legend has it that this is where King Arthur was buried. I wish. Apparently it might have just been a bastardisation of "Archer's Seat", which makes more sense as an band of archers holding the location as high ground would prove nearly impenetrable.

Well, whats a climb to the top without a view from the top?

I'm gonna get back up there again. Going solo wasn't really such a good idea - The wind nearly blew me off the top of the hill. (yes all *** kg of me). Will get and post more pictures soon.

Till then, I'll just have to walk more and buildup my stamina!

The Eagle has Landed

2009-01-09T13:27:00.002+08:00

I was toying with the idea of sending a mass email to all the interested participants, but the idea of collecting the email addresses is... well, daunting.

Meanwhile, first impressions:

This... is not my hostel room. :(

Wish it was though! It's a graduate hostel room I think.

Here's to more good first impressions. :)

And where it stop nobody knows.

2009-01-07T17:35:00.002+08:00

Stimulation is a terrible thing.

2009-01-02T19:34:00.002+08:00

With the date of my departure fast approaching, I find that time is fleeting...... Minutes flit by like so many buzzing insects, whirring past the stream of consciousness. It takes a great deal of effort to contemplate each moment as a seperate entity, denying the endless agglomoration of time, sectioning the hours into coherent units.

It's aided less still by new sources of endless entertainment - 10 seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, a few thousand readily available episodes of Naruto and Bleach, as well as the siren call of a bed that I won't see for 6 months. Attempts at regaining traction in my usual social life has encountered, well, lets just say a few oil slicks. Still, it's a futile attempt, for in less than a week I will again be wrenched from the familar comforts of mundanity and whisked to - let's face it, a really really cold place.

Which is not necessarily bad. It's cool. (snort snort.) It's making sure that everything falls in order so that the transition is smooth that bothers me. It would seriously annoy me if I missed something and have the transition interrupted. Bah. Only time will tell.

Musing - If Schadenfraude is a word that means pleasure at the misfortune of others, what's the word that means pleasure at the happiness of others?

She looks so happy. :)

And it was really nice to see the entire gang (well almost the entire gang) together last night. It's been a while since I saw most of them, and its the first time we got together all the couples. Very sweet. Very nice. Let's hope this team sticks together for the long run.

You guys rock my world. :) (I'm gonna miss you all.)

This Shit is so totally Weasel

2008-12-27T12:06:00.002+08:00

For those who didn't realise... I'm back!

None the worse for wear, at about the same weight (you bastards), and with over 1000 photos and memories of good times (and bad times) gone by in the land of loving long time.

I wouldn't do justice to my trip if i haemorraghed the entire trip in a single post, and even if i did, my photos aren't quite done yet. So this will just have to do as a marker post, while the main body comes along later.

And for those who saw me last night, i was probably having much more fun than i was letting on, if you know what i mean. :)

It's a game of give and take.

2008-12-07T23:57:00.001+08:00

Decadence.

2008-12-06T16:09:00.005+08:00

Blissful, sweet, release.

I had never felt so relieved that my papers are over. For some reason, this semester seemed to hold a lot more intensity for me than usual. Perhaps I felt that I had put in much more effort this semester? Hopefully the results show it.

Following the anticlimatic ending of my last paper, the past few days have been a total rush. It's as if all the pent up energy from studying too hard had suddenly found a release. Wednesday I went zapping to Golden Mile with LeeLi, helping the two of them find backpacks. Didn't get anything in the end, but had a good idea of what they were looking for. That was followed by a bout of palatory orgasmic debauchery, butchering a platter of Sup Tulang, licking the flesh off it's bones and sucking every single dribble of the salacious marrow, filling me with its spongy osteoform goodness. Washing it down with a glass of refreshing sugar cane, we then proceeded to embark on a mission to conquer new bowls of Ah Balling....... which we devoured with relish. And then came the classic grass jelly in the classic bowl (which turned out to be plastic since they were going to close for the day.) But still, tasty herbal goodness. Aaaaah. Satiated, I returned to another bout of tossing people around in SWTFU, but ended up getting sidetracked on my brother's bed, watching him and Jerry go EXTREEEEEME in Gears of War 2. I need to learn to ass-kick like that. Khai and Ivan was asking me out, but lethargy got the better of my, and I succumbed to sweet slumber soon after.

Thursday went by a little more frenetically. Woke up at just past the crack of dawn (adjusting back to normal life), and decided that lying in bed was too sinful for a day such as this, so i went on to Operation Nuclear Disarmanent - Or How i Learned that A Clean Table is Actually Possible. It's still in progress, hopefully it'll be done before North Korea is. (ka-ching) Leaving the job halfway, I headed down to town, armed with some vouchers to pick up certain apparel for next year. Saw Cheryl on a lift, but couldn't drop by to say hi (and she looked rather occupied), and had to rush off for the Chemgineers Meeting. It ended up being not too bad, it seemed like most of us were having fun (including Pam, suprisingly.) Ivan was rather stoned from the night before, though. And I found myself with a vicious hunger for a new game, Zombies!!! (yes, three exclamation marks.) Leaving the cafe, we headed down for a few drinks, where Herman and Joshua provided ample topics for conversation. (They are seriously noisy bastards.) Had a Leffe Blonde, which didn't disappoint. Too bad none of my SMUgger friends were around (GLARE.) Left when we realised that suddenly it was dark and about 7.30. It was rather suprising to find out I still enjoyed talking to a certain someone. Got home and.... went for supper with my bro, Keong and Jerry. Dropped them off at Keong's place for more EXTREEEEME action, and me and my bro headed back. Crashed and burned.

Friday was zomfgwtfbbq. Woke up, continued with Operation Nuclear Disarmanent - Then got distracted and bullied brudder to come with me to Paradigm Infinitum - aka Geekhaven. There, i was...... disturbed. The call of the Geek side was strong... but the horror... the horror... I confess, I gave in. I came in with intention to get Zombies!!!, which i did. But i also... got a membership. :( crap. Now I'm one of THEM. And a nice Battle for Black Reach set which I'm gonna share with Jon the Orky Bastard (who better pay me half... you ass.) Headed back to YCK to pickup Leeli and Rich, and left on an EPIC SHOPPING SPREE...... which spanned the breadth of Singapore and 3 different warehouse sales. Needless to say, I ended the day damn broke. But i guess i got what i needed. Picked up the other half of RichanMeiyan and headed for AMK Astons... which was satisfying too. Left them all to go home and went home to rest a while, before picking up brudder and KH. Came back for Zombie Night - Drinking Graveyards, Playing Zombies!!!, and watching Evil Dead II. Insane. I ended the night at 4am buzzed and high and convinced that Zombies!!! was the game to take the edge of a 30 hour train ride.

Woke the next morning to send my mom to dialysis, then returned to crash and burn on my bed... before kicking the other two buggers awake and going for EXTREEEEME breakfast.

Yeah man. Like 8 pratas a head extreme. More to be found on TSFT.

And thats enough decadence for a lifetime of debauchery for me. My god.

The Power of the Dark Side.

2008-12-03T00:59:00.003+08:00

There is nothing as satisfying as throwing assorted random stormtroopers into the air, watching them flail helplessly, then tossing them against the nearest bulkhead. And when one of them stands, groggily from the assault, sending arcs of twisted blue lightning to ground against him, watching him shudder with the spasms of pain racing through his body.

Aaaaaaaah. :)

Star Wars : The Force Unleashed is a terrific game. Most people who know me should know im terrible at gaming - But I LOVE the stories that go with it. SWTFU flows as a real story should - The fights are cinematic, the action is epic... and best of all, it's filled with the characters you know and love from the entire series.

The gameplay is fluid, with an exception being the mildly uncontrollable camera system. The fighting is fantastic, ranging from massive hordes of enemies to intense set piece battles against creatures 10 times your size, and gratuitious lightsaber action against other Jedi/Sith. Combos are easy to string together, and the variety of moves that you can perform with a few simple buttons is amazing. I have yet to truly delve into the more complex moves. Of course I realise in the end I end up zapping or throwing people around more than stabbing - but it's so fun!

The story is well crafted, filling in an essential gap between the first series and the prelude series. Needless to say, it melds well with the entire plot of the series as a whole, and expands the Star Wars mileau to greater depth.

CGI and enemy AI are more than sufficient for my taste. The highlight of the entire game for me has to be *SPOILER* dragging down an entire Imperial Star Destroyer with your bare hands (and the power of the Force). *SPOILER END* To me, that truly describes the awesomeness of the game.

I swear, if i have the time, i'm getting this for the Wii. And i'm gonna play it to death before I leave this damn bloody hot country for cooler pastures.

Mmmmmmm.

The Dark Side calls.

The Green Mile

2008-11-29T00:20:00.002+08:00

3 papers down, 1 more to go...

It's always at the final step that my willpower seems to falter. Let's hope that this time it gets a little better.

The end of the year seems a little uncertain now. Bangkok doesn't look rather happening right now... unless you're the kind that likes to wade through a crowd of yellow shirted people trying to walk from the airport back to the city.

Ah well. Politics has always been a messy business. The impact of the December events on Thailand will be very strong.

But for me, I've got a lot of process modelling and numerical simulation left to do.

" but oh God, sometimes the Green Mile seems so long..."

Aaaaaaand......

2008-11-28T11:03:00.002+08:00

Those were the days...

2008-11-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

Iwannapickupmyguitaragain.

2008-11-18T09:32:00.001+08:00

ZOMG

2008-11-18T08:16:00.005+08:00

The songs from Avenue Q are...... infectious.

I can't stop playing them!!! *wail*

"It sucks to be meeeeeee......"

And one of the puppets sound like my prof. :p

Personality test 2008

2008-11-17T09:47:00.002+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

I do these about once a year? Haha.

And IM A FLIRT. Who are you kidding. I couldn't flirt to save my life... or so i think?

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Magnifique

2008-11-17T07:33:00.003+08:00

I managed to catch Avenue Q yesterday, and I must say, it was good. Refreshing, witty, and it brought a new take onto theatre that I didnt quite notice.

Having puppets as a prop on stage brings a whole new dimension to the acting - It's like watching 2 people acting at the same time - but with the same voice. I can't remember who told me about watching the actors faces, but it did bring added nuances to their performance.

The set was... well, classic New York gutter style. Really brings about the feel of the dream of moving to the big city crashing on the shores of reality.

The songs! Oh the songs. Each an instant classic in it's own right. "It sucks to be me", "If you were gay", "Everyone's a little bit racist"... and of course the cheerful little ditty, "The internet is for porn".

Well I thoroughly enjoyed it. Too bad for those who didn't catch it, yesterday was the last day of the run.

Looking forward to many more of these... when I get there. :)

War.

2008-11-16T13:12:00.002+08:00

They grazed in silence, until his own words reminded him of something he had wanted to ask.

"The sentries," he asked. "Are we at war?"

She did not understand the word.

"War?"

"Are we fighting people?"

"Fighting?" she asked doubtfully. "The men fight sometimes about their wives and that. Of course there is no bloodshed - only scuffling, to find the better man. Is that what you mean?"

"No, I meant fighting against armies - against other geese, for instance."

She was amused.

"How ridiculous! You mean a lot of geese all scuffling at the same time. It would be fun to watch."

Her tone suprised him, for his heart was still a kind one, being a boy's.

"Fun to watch them kill each other?"

"To kill each other? An army of geese kill each other?"

She began to understand this idea slowly and doubtfully, an expression of distaste coming over her face. When it had sank in, she left him. She went away to another part of the field in silence. He followed, but she turned her back. Moving round to get a glimpse of her eyes, he was startled by their dislike - a look as if he had made some obscene suggestion.

He said lamely: "I am sorry. I don't understand."

"Leave talking about it."

"I am sorry."

Later he aded, with annoyance, "A person can ask, I suppose. It seems a natural question, with the sentries."
But she was thoroughly angry.

"Will you stop about it at once! What a horrible mind you must have! You have no right to sy such things. And of course there are sentries. There are the jar-falcons and the peregrines, aren't there: the foxes and the ermines and the humans with their nets? These are natural enemies. But what creature could be so low as to go about in bands, to murder others of its own blood?"

"Ants do," he said obstinately. "And i was only trying to learn."

She relented with an effort to be good-natured. She wanted to be broad-minded if she could, for she was rather a blue stocking.

"My name is Lyo-lyok. YOu had better call yourself Kee-kwa, and then the rest will think you came from Hungary."

"Do you all come here from different places?"

"Well, in parties of course. There are some here from Siberia, some from Lapland and i can see one or two from Iceland."

"But don't they fight each other for the pasture?"

"Dear me you are a silly," she said. "There are no boundaries among geese."

"What are boundaries please?"

"Imaginary lines on the earth I suppose. How can you have boundaries if you fly? These ants of yours - and the humans too - would have to stop fighting in the end, if they took to the air."

"I like fighting," said the Wart. "It is knightly."

"Because you're a baby."

-------------------------------------------------------------

The Once and Future King, T.H. White

Roundround getaround I get around

2008-11-10T21:41:00.003+08:00

Whew. The end of the year draws closer and closer with every breath I take. And there much more to be done...

The semester's gone by in a rush, and frankly, I'm not looking forward to it ending. It's not that I haven't learnt anything, which for that i'm rather amazed. Somethings actually seem to have crept into my lulling mind as i waltzed the semester away. But there's yet so much more to do!

Rapidly pacing up and down Orchard earlier today, I remembered the thrill I get from having a goal. Short, as it may be, but a goal nonetheless. Just having the urge to push yourself to get things done - That's my ambrosia. My sweet nectar. The thrill of the chase.

For me it seems to have been a semester of recovery, from emotional trauma, and refocusing my life on my fundamentals. I'm still looking for my fundamentals, and I think I might yet be a step closer to getting to know what I'm really about.

And of course along comes the occasional revelation. "It takes two hands to clap", that's one. "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink", that's another. "It's not the triumph, it's the struggle." I learnt a lot from struggling.

And the one phrase that sums up my first half of my year -

"When you're heart's on fire, you must realise smoke gets in your eyes."

Top Hat!

2008-11-07T14:19:00.002+08:00

Fred Astaire isn't exactly the most handsome pick of the lot, but boy can he dance. He has a certain debonair style, with which he plays the part of one who is supremely confident of his own abilities, and knows what he wants.

The movie as a whole was not too bad, a more successful blend of light hearted humour and romance than "Singing in the Rain". But of course, thats my own opinion, some may beg to differ. I find that as the dance scenes go, Fred Astaire really can carry off the compositions well, enhancing the scene with moves that suggest the mood. Point taken in "Isn't this a lovely day (to get caught in the rain)" and "Cheek to Cheek". What really struck me is how the sequences speak much better than the dialogue in describing their conditions.

And the "Cheek to Cheek" sequence rocks! I always liked that song, now i like it even more!

Twilight

2008-11-03T20:17:00.002+08:00

No wonder my tuition kid can't put this book down when i'm teaching. Its hilarious really - She'll sulk and ask for breaks and tell me not to teach so that she can read her book. Its' the first time that had ever happened to me, I was at a loss to impose my decree to continue with math or let her carry on with her fascination with the written word.

I would think one of the main draws of the abovementioned novel is that it reads like a classic romance...... girl meets boy, girl finds something wierd about boy....... they undergo several hardships, but eventually live happily ever after. Of course, the main character being female, the book has obvious attractions to the average female student. It doesn't help that the prose is peppered with liberal sprinklings of how "his shirt could not hide his chiselled chest" and "the slabs of muscle on his arms flexed in a raw display of power" and all that. Oh, how my heart is a-flutter. The author does go about it rather discreetly though, drawing the potrait of love without the usual physical hangups.

The pacing of the novel is not bad, although it spends the majority of it's time exploring the growing relationship between the two lead characters. It almost felt as if the antagonist of the latter half of the story was thrown in as an afterthought. Of course, their star-crossed love would face difficulties throughout the course of the novel, but it is hardly noticeable. And of course it's so exciting to do something that everyone disapproves of... Stirs up the rebel in everyone.

Overall, it was unputdownable. Whilst i know most people would tell me thats not a word, but i beg to differ. No other word comes close to describing the zest and vim of a novel that keeps the reader sufficiently entertained from cover to cover. I had a test today, so I HAD to put it down last night before sleeping. Today i had no such excuse, and finished it off thoroughly and satisfactorily.

-------------------------------------

Now, because i have a bad habit of doing other things when i should be doing my work, let's take a look into an analysis of "Twilight" in the framework of the monomyth (The Hero's Journey)

Can anyone identify the 17 Stages of the Monomyth?

1. Departure

a. Call to Adventure

b. Refusal of the call

c. Supernatural aid

d. The crossing of the first threshold

e. Belly of the whale

2. Initiation

a. The road of trials

b. Mother as Goddess

c. Woman(man in this case) as temptress

d. Atonement with the Father

e. Apotheosis

f. The Ultimate Boon

3. Return

a. Refusal of the Return

b. The Magic Flight

c. Rescue from without

d. The crossing of the return threshold

e. Master of Two Worlds

f. Freedom to Live

This is taken liberally from the wikipedia article on the monomyth.

I know what homework someone is getting next week....... muahahahahhaha.

Singin' in the Rain

2008-10-29T08:24:00.002+08:00

And yet another chapter of classical movie education completed. :)

Slept at 2, but it was worth it.

It seems that comedies during that era would be what we consider slapstick now. The vaudevillian style of standup, the pies and the hooked canes. In my opinion, "Singing in the Rain" would have been better off advertised as a musical with a side of comedy, rather than a musical comedy. The comedy didn't quite strike me as rather fascinating, while the musical numbers were quite good!

Gene Kelly is a fantastic tap-dancer though. His routines mesh fantastically well with the tunes, almost as if every note was triggered by his individual steps. Very precise, very smooth.

It seems that every actor in these old films like acting as debonair rich people - Maybe it was easier to pull off? I guess noone wanted to see a scruffy bugger in the 1950s. Then again, that was the age of Sinatra et al, the coat and tie was the norm.

Comparing Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire - From what i see now, Gene Kelly is a better tapdancer, Fred Astaire has more emotion in his varied styles (and more ballroom oriented). Kelly has fantastical cheerful and vibrant movements, while Astaire moves more emotionally and vividly. Or perhaps it's the mileau of the background movie that dictates their styles? Top Hat and Singing in the Rain do have different themes. I guess i'll have to watch more of their movies to tell ( haha i just made myself a reason to find more movies)

One strange thing - I recognised one of the dance sequences from a parody in Family Guy. Sadly, I had to watch the parody before I saw the actual sequence. Shouldn't that be a good reason to enjoy the classics?

Cheek to Cheek

2008-10-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

As Time Goes By.

2008-10-26T09:35:00.001+08:00

Casablanca

2008-10-26T02:03:00.003+08:00

A new friend of mine told me I should watch Casablanca.

And so I did.

And I was blown away.

There's a certain pace and rhythm to the movies of those times, and it is a calming one. Following the ebb and flow of the plot is simple, and pleasantly relaxing. One thing i'm really taken in by is, as i have previously mentioned before, the gravity of the actor's screen presence, and the way they steal the scenes everytime they step on. Humphrey Bogart plays the jaded owner to cynical perfection, while Ingrid Bergman steals the limelight in soft focus black and white. She looks like she's GLOWING.

Well, maybe not this one. But you get the idea.

Black and white cinema is a style unto itself - Lacking colours, it seems that either the actors are forced into being more in focus. Or is it that with a lack of colour, we, as the viewers are more entranced by the actors than the scenes?

And of course, amazing one-liners and quotable quotes.

"Play it, Sam."

"Here's looking at you kid."

"Of all the gin joints of all the towns in the world she has to walk into mine."

And possibly one of my favourite jazzy songs:

"You must remember this. A kiss is still a kiss. A sigh is just a sigh. The fundamental things apply, as time goes by. And when two lovers woo, they still say "I love you". On that you can rely. No matter what the future brings, as time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs, never out of date. Hearts full of passion, jealousy and hate. Woman needs man, and man must have his mate. That, noone can deny.

It's still the same old story, the fight for love and glory, a case of do or die. The world will always welcome lovers, as time goes by."

Pleasant days and pleasant nights. I'm learning a bit more of myself everytime I open my eyes. Life is moving. :)

Glee!

2008-10-21T08:52:00.002+08:00

A conversation in a car on a road, moving on.

S: Hey cool car. *cues red convertible to drive past*

X: Yeah, it's a Saab.

S: Then the sporty ones they make for old men are called the hum-Saab right?

*The silence of the lambs*

X: You know, they used to make a lot of those cars. They called it the Saab-Standard.

S: Yah man yah man. Then the replacement for that model is called the Saab-stitute right?

*The sound of people not laughing*

X: You know the company makes boats too. They're called Saab-marines.

S: Then their trains must be called Saab-Ways.

*The sound of more people not laughing*

X: Did you know they have a range of cars for lawyers?

S: No, do tell.

X: Its called the Saab-poena.

S: *mmmmph* Have you heard about the one that they like to drive out to eat late at night? Its called the Saab-per.

------------------------------

(Note - This part is completely fiction)

X: You know why they're not so popular?

S: Why ar?

X: Because if they did, they would cause a Saab-prime crisis.

*End*

OD'ing on Jap Cinema

2008-10-16T20:23:00.004+08:00

Woah. The Hidden Fortress, Yojimbo, Rashomon, Seven Samurai, Dreams. All in the last 2 weeks. I'm really starting to develop a taste for this. It's actually quite good, if anyone wants to try can come get it from me.

Oh and I was right, there is always a mad guy running around in his movies. It's Toshiro Mifune, and he's apparently one of the most well known actors in Japanese cinema in that period.

Seven Samurai

2008-10-14T08:17:00.002+08:00

Somehow, I think my expectations of it was too high. It didn't quite elicit the response that i thought it would. Perhaps its due to the fact that its a bloody 3.5 hour long show, and the viewing was disjointed.

But still, it is interesting to see the development of the the panning screen technique (often used in Star Wars, and George Lucas has credited it to the influence of Akira Kurosawa), as well as the social commentary of the time.

In war, the conflict resolution often is said to be biased against the common people. In this take on conflict though, Kurosawa presents another point of view - The village who hired the seven samurai managed to escape relatively unscathed, while of the original seven, we see three in the end credits looking at a mass graveyard, topped with the four katanas of their fallen comrades. While in peace, the villagers live a comfortable, meaningful life. However, during war, they are helpless, and rely on these samurai to provide them with safety and security. And as soon as the need disappears, they go about their tasks, thankless to those who have given their life to the sword, and who in times of peace, as exemplified by the scene of the samurai watching the people at work planting next season's crops, are useless.

Is it a natural contrast in purpose? Where do the warriors go when there is no war? I doubt that it is a new issue. On one hand, we cannot deny the helpfulness of those who defend us, but in times of peace, they can seem all too useless, or unnecessary.

This is taken from a view of a feudal society, where the castes are well defined, and cross caste relationships are unapproved. Once a farmer, always a farmer. Perhaps the discrimination is less apparent in an open world, where there are no strict caste restrictions. But is it still there?

What use have we of a military force when peace is prevalent?

Does the threat of future conflict warrant a maintenence of a defence force?

Well, there is always the Singapore model. But we can see the roots of dissatisfaction kicking in already. Goodness knows how many people I know have many comments about it.

Well, I still prefer Dreams. Perhaps its the episodal format, keeps it sharp and thoughtful. Seven Samurai is a little long in the buildup, but I think it builds rapport for the characters.

And Kurosawa always seems to like having a wild man running around in his movies...... I wonder why.

Dial M for Murder

2008-10-10T23:13:00.004+08:00

Had the opportunity to catch the above-mentioned film with the USP people. FYI, it's made in 1950, directed by Alfred Hitchcock. Pretty good, the style and pace was a refreshing change from the usual hollywood trash that comes out nowadays.

Something that struck me about the early days of cinema - The movie is driven solely by the well thought out plot and the gravitas of the actors. The scene is simple, with the majority of the movie played out within the same room. Perhaps it is to save on the budget, but the sparseness of the sets emphasize the effective dialogue and convoluted plot lines.

And who can forget the seriously hot actress, Grace Kelly. Or rather, Princess Grace, ex-queen of Monaco. I can't believe I actually found that out from my mom. :p

Next up - more Kurosawa. Done with Rashomon and Dreams, now watching out for Seven Samurai, Derusu Uzara and Yojimbo. Anyone has the Hidden Fortress? Apparently Star Wars was inspired by it... Time to see what all the fuss was about.

Vividly.

2008-10-06T01:24:00.004+08:00

I cannot help but think about this. It has been a week since it has passed, but it remains stained in my mind.

It is a dream, yes I know it. One night as I lay sleeping, I dreamt a dream of you and I, walking together. Friendly, yet hesitant. Talking about everything and nothing, the little bits of the days that passes us by.

And suddenly, all of a moment, you turn and hold my hand, hesitantly. And my heart leaps into my mouth, and I am all agog. The pounding of my heart increases, and I look deeply into your eyes. I see a shy laughter, and a twinkling of a star. And then you lean over and give me a peck on the cheek. A shy peck, but it embarasses you so. And we laugh and carry on gaily as if nothing had happened, and everything had happened, all in a flash of vivid life.

We walk on, secure in the knowledge that we have shared something so ephemeral, so sudden, so beautiful. And i wake up with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. For in that one moment of unconscious awareness, I was happy, I was content, I was overjoyed. I had tasted the fruit of love, albeit in Morpheus's realm, and it was good.

Everyday, we go about the same routines. Everyday, we walk past the same sights and sounds. Everyday we may stroll and pass, sometimes glancing, sometimes engaging in meaningless chatter, sometimes searching, in each other, the meaning of this exchange. Everyday, I walk on, hoping against hope that this day, it would be different.

And someday it might. And for that one chance, I hold on.

Got to get you into my life

2008-10-04T00:25:00.000+08:00

Beauty and the Dream.

2008-09-29T20:19:00.001+08:00

Sakura in bloom

Ephemeral beauty seen

Kurosawa's dream.

Understanding Uncertainty

2008-09-23T01:12:00.002+08:00

It is only human to be scared of the unknown.

Thus ventures the mental gymnastics of the species, steadily categorizing new experiences, expanding the forefront of human knowledge, rigorously explaining and correlating all that we know.

And yet we still find ourselves on the brink of uncertainty daily. The presence of human errors lead to the unpredictability of life, and the fear of the unknown that lies behind it.

It is this fear that drives people to believe in religion, that there is a quintessential need for someone to take care of the race as a whole, to guide us towards a higher purpose. That there is something for us after we pass, something for us to look forward to. It makes the darkness of death a little brighter by placing a little light at the end of the tunnel.

It is uncertainty that drives us as a species to explore every single facet of this existence we know as life. We are creatures that abhor entropy, the disorderliness of the system in which we exist in, and it is ironic that in our struggle to form order, we introduce even greater disorder on a microscopic scale.

We live each day with the same fundamental rules - The sun rises in the east, we breathe and awaken, we eat and move and talk. We know intrinsically how to do these certain actions, we know intrinsically how the world works as a whole.

But closed are the minds of men and the ways of people, for these are the vagaries of the human race.

We strive each day to place new order in our lives, and to define rigidly the boundaries and barriers that we have placed. We search for new rules and new ways to intepret the data that we are presented with.

But what if the answer is not one that we are searching for?

Pleasant Sundays

2008-09-22T09:06:00.002+08:00

I must say a highlight of every weekend is giving tuition.

It's actually quite fun to teach, especially when you have students like these:

Hint - The one on the right is actually more attentive and hardworking.

And who says there's no such thing as a free lunch?

Awesome lunches. Hah.

I used to think that the day would never come.

2008-09-19T07:58:00.003+08:00

It's a pleasure in the morning

with the misty sunlight dawning

To crick your back while yawning

At the waking open sky.

As the moving moonlight passes

A breeze runs through the grasses

I sense a strong catharsis

and I know I have to try -

For the day is bright and early

and the future isn't surely

as set and cast entirely

in a granite block of stone.

We know we have the power

to choose and make our hours

the choice entirely ours

a choice we make alone.

The darkness of the passing night

gone with day's dawning light

reveals a certain insight

That we never walk alone.

29R

2008-09-17T07:57:00.001+08:00

Now what?

Catching the early morning spray

2008-09-15T07:48:00.002+08:00

There is something magical about the early mornings.

The feeling that a new dawn is breaking, is showering the world with a golden light of new opportunities and chances.

The feeling of a wall of infinitesimal droplets propelled by a cool morning breeze just cleansing your face, pulling away the sleepy doldrums that inhibit the mind.

The feeling of the spring in your steps, knowing that there is something to look forward to each day.

A new day dawns, and with it comes new experiences and new opportunities.

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast; man never is, but always to be blest."

Hitler and ERP

2008-09-09T23:37:00.000+08:00

Hilarious.

Wherever I may roam

2008-09-04T16:58:00.000+08:00

And the road becomes my bride
I have stripped of all but pride
So in her I do confide
And she keeps me satisfied
Gives me all I need

And with dust in throat I crave
Only knowledge will I save
To the game you stay a slave

Rove or wanderer
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home

(And the earth becomes my throne)

And the earth becomes my throne
I adapt to the unknown
Under wandering stars I've grown
By myself but not alone
I ask no one

And my ties are severed clean
Less I have the more I gain
Off the beaten path I reign

Rove or wanderer
Nomad, vagabond
Call me what you will

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
and I'll never mind anywhere

Anywhere I roam
Where I lay my head is home
YE' YEAH

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind
And I'll take my find anywhere

Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home
I say!

But I'll take my time anywhere
I'm free to speak my mind anywhere
And I'll redefine anywhere

Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

Carved upon my stone
My body lies, but still I roam,
Yeah yeah!

Wherever I may roam
Wherever I may roam
Woah

For The Love of God

2008-09-03T00:12:00.001+08:00

The Science of Selling Yourself Short

2008-08-28T22:30:00.001+08:00

Timbre Music Fest on Campus

2008-08-28T16:38:00.004+08:00

Was awesome.

Had a good workout with my new 18-200 lens. Some actually turned out quite nicely!

And the music was better than expected. I should go to Timbre more often. I liked the Soulfellas rendition of "Let's Groove Tonight" and 53A's rocking cover of "Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)". Kept walking around to take pictures though. But with a big lens and a big camera somehow everyone thinks you're professional. LMAO.

Touched.

2008-08-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

Well I wasn't expecting this much accord on my birthday. Looks like people are more thoughtful than I thought.

A big shout out to all the homies that wished me happy birthday. I'm sincerely touched.

And especially to the barista's at Starbucks Tanglin Mall. To Niq who gave me a free up-size for my coffee frappucino, and who masterminded the free cake. Guys, I know im a regular, but this was beyond the call of duty. I really appreciate it.

And to top it all up, I'm like more or less done attempting the tutorials for tomorrow! No midnight oil burning for me ya... Get some nice beauty sleep and carpool tomorrow, 6.30am.

It was a good day. :)

Pretty in Pink

2008-08-25T08:23:00.001+08:00

Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
Snapshot in the family album
Daddy what else did you leave for me?
Daddy, what'd'ja leave behind for me?!?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.

When we grew up and went to school
There were certain teachers who would
Hurt the children in any way they could

By pouring their derision
Upon anything we did
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids
But in the town, it was well known
When they got home at night, their fat and
Psychopathic wives would thrash them
Within inches of their lives.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

Split Personality.

2008-08-23T20:27:00.001+08:00

The good thing about campus is that youtube loads so quickly.

2008-08-22T08:17:00.001+08:00

Tainted Love

2008-08-16T20:33:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

(chorus)
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want IT any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you'LL think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

(chorus...)

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love (x2)
Touch me baby, tainted love (x2)
Tainted love (x3)

Fire Water Burn

2008-08-15T16:54:00.000+08:00

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.

Ah Ma, please wake up.

2008-08-12T15:24:00.002+08:00

Last night my grandmother passed away peacefully at around 10pm.

It's a mercy really. She was bedridden for the past 10 years, and struck with both stroke and alzheimers in her later years of life.

She could barely talk, barely move, and had to be helped in everything she had to do.

Godspeed Ah Ma, into the light.

My mom commented - It's the seventh month, and when the gates of hell are open, perhaps my grandfather came back and told my grandmother - "stop suffering. Come with me and be free from the pain and suffering."

Poetic, really. He has been waiting for her for more than 20 years.

The sad part is watching my aunties and uncles, her children cope with the loss.
It's really terrible to see them breakdown, and let it all out.
But therapeutic I guess?
People cope with loss in different ways.

The wake is on from today until friday. If you guys cant seem to contact me, i'll be busy cementing the solidarity of a family united in grief.

Plus its a nice and quiet time to sit and read some stuff.

And a good time to take notes. Someday, I might have to do this for my parents. Hopefully that day is far far into the future.

I must be like the most depressing person to talk to these few days lah. Haha.

A Categorical Imperative

2008-08-08T12:52:00.002+08:00

I always wanted to read Immanuel Kant's work.

"Act only according to that maxim whereby you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law."

I found that statement to be eminently impressive, in both scope and application.

Of course a more popular restatement of the sentence would be exemplified in the Golden Rule:

"Do unto others as you want others to do unto you"

And suprisingly, it's in the Bible!

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Luke 6:31

Coincidence? I think not.

In my life, I have always found it beneficial to apply this rule as an universal maxim of human behaviour. Be nice to others, others will be nice to me. Childish, perhaps, but still true. Being pleasant and engaging never hurt anyone.

And of course, the world is round. What goes around comes around.

Perhaps Kant got it right the first time around.

2745.

2008-08-04T05:08:00.001+08:00

Pressure forward.

Revelations

2008-08-04T01:36:00.002+08:00

I wonder how it feels like to watch the "Ringu" video.

You know its nasty, but sometimes you have to see it through to the end.

What starts off as something simple and mild warps to a nightmare dragged from the deepest recesses of your imagination.

Genesis to Revelations, it's all part and parcel of life.

I really can't help but look. Each time it hardens me a little bit more.

Amazing grace. How sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost. But now am found. Was blind but now I see.

Friends will be friends. I should listen to mine more.

Chapter closed. Life moves on.

Still searching. One false lead down, but the hunt moves on.

Am I fine?

Does it matter? :)

2008-08-01T21:48:00.002+08:00

23/45.

Pressure forward.

Purchasing Power Parity

2008-08-01T13:51:00.001+08:00

An A4 size print in Singapore costs abt $10.

An A4 size print in Bangkok costs abt $0.50.

This is soooooo fucked up.

Love shouldn't be so Melancholy...

2008-07-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

Water burning engine???

2008-07-25T21:57:00.004+08:00

http://www.convertunits.com/carwater/

What a piece of bullshit.

›› How a WATER-Burning Car Works

The engine in your car is the same, but instead of pumping liquid gasoline you use regular tap water. The electricity from your alternator converts the water into a gas called HHO. That gas can be mixed with regular gasoline and sent through the internal combustion engine.

The result is that you get more energy from the expanding gas, which results in higher gas mileage, and the byproducts are mostly H2O, so you also get cleaner emissions.

Of course, you can't just pour water into your tank and expect it to work. You have to know what you're doing and you have to buy the right materials and install it correctly.

That's the main benefit of this guide -- it shows you step by step how to modify your car and what parts you need. The cost for parts will be less than $60 at a hardware store, and you should be able to make your car into a hybrid for less than $150 total.

The 90-page guide gives you detailed instructions. This is the best way to make sure you're installing everything correctly and optimizing your gas savings.

Some obvious issues:

1. HHO is like so H2O. Any simple chemistry student can tell you this. Water + petrol... = HHO? If you can make something out of nothing, why not invent cold fusion while you're at it.

2. While it is true that expanding gas does push the engine piston, THERE IS NO EXTRA ENERGY GENERATED. The fuel, gasoline, is actually present in an even smaller proportion, due to the addition of water in the fuel mix. Hence, going by the first law of thermodynamics, the net energy generated is actually less per volume of "mixed fuel".

3. Do you get more energy? As per point 2, not possible due to the limitations of the first law of thermodynamics.

4. Are emissions cleaner? Technically yes. If you use less petrol of course it doesn't create as much pollutants. Byproducts mostly H2O? If you put water in, you get water out. Duuuuuuuuh.

5. Furthermore, car engines are DESIGNED to run with petroleum/diesel fuel. These are mostly (if not completely) non-polar solvents. Adding water (a polar solvent) into the mixture, we will observe a two-layered solution, as water and petroleum are immiscible. What are the effects? First, the car engine may not function as it should. The spark plug is designed to ignite an atmosphere rich in petroleum fumes (which is what normally happens in a car engine.) Having water in the engine may reduce the partial pressure of petroleum fumes in the engine atmosphere, reducing it below the spark point. Hence engine may not function at all. Second, given the design of the engine, addition of water may actually cause faster wear and tear of the parts, as they are not designed to work in a moisture rich atmosphere. And I'm sure everyone knows what hot H2O is.

What the hell man.

(disclaimer - I am not a mechanical engineer, nor am I an expert on car engines. I just happened to chance upon this article, which screamed to my mind "scientific inaccuracy".)

The Internet

2008-07-25T21:27:00.001+08:00

"You know what I like about the internet? You can't photoshop personality."

http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/1718

MySpace

2008-07-25T16:20:00.000+08:00

see more hipster robot webcomics and pixel t-shirts

2008-07-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Aftermath

2008-07-21T12:12:00.003+08:00

Someone has told me the message wasn't clear.

I will survive.

That's it.

Fuck lah. It's still a super emo night.

2008-07-12T23:22:00.001+08:00

Fuck lah. It's just a super emo night.

2008-07-12T22:56:00.001+08:00

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2008-07-12T22:50:00.000+08:00